A Matter of Time

Do not be disheartened,
Oh (the most) unexpected visitor!
By my seeming indifference.
It is only a matter of time,
My heart whispers,
Till you win me over.

Though too small for your ring,
And your great surprise,
I have a heart
Strong enough
To stand the tides of your love.

Have patience
Till, drop by drop,
This shower makes
My whole heart wet.

I assure you,
It is only
A matter of time.

When you are a Palestinian

A poem by Shadi Abdul-Kareem

Translation by Nahida Exiled Palestinian

When you are a Palestinian 

You would need daily practice of hiding tears 

And swallowing huge chunk of wishes 

 Overflowing from your reality

 In front of which you stand flabbergasted 

Wondering who’d find the genie’s lamp 

That would bring back your olive tree, 

the straw tray and the sea fragrance? 

When you are a Palestinian 

You wouldn’t dare to broaden your smile 

The ghosts of Alaqsa would encircle you 

And the blood of Saladin which runs in your veins 

Would remind you whenever you attempt to smile 

That your smile is a betrayal… punishable by history 

When you are a Palestinian 

You cannot dream solo 

There is always someone with you 

Rather taking control 

And whilst others dream of wealth, power, wife, children 

Your dream is 

A nap beneath an orange tree in Haifa 

A cup of coffee by the shore of Tabareya 

A prayer that rises up to heaven

 Following the footsteps of the beloved 

When you are a Palestinian 

You’d live in a state of unceasing absence of normal life

 No wakefulness… no sleep 

No work… no rest 

No awareness… no unconsciousness 

Without the remembrance of Palestine;

How was Palestine!

What became of Palestine!

And what will happen to Palestine?

When you are a Palestinian 

You would live a stranger in your homeland 

And a stranger outside your homeland 

 You would provoke all kinds of feelings

You’d be an instigator of pity, some times 

An instigator of sadness, some times 

An instigator of curiosity, some times 

An instigator of admiration, many times 

When you are a Palestinian 

You’d work tirelessly 

Promoting a redundant commodity 

Called DIGNITY

No longer in circulation 

Since new dictionaries of morality have been invented 

When you are a Palestinian 

 You will unavoidably get an illness called melancholy 

You will infect all those who know you

 And those who gaze at the caged tears in your eyes 

And those who’d listen to the howl of mosques, churches and stones in your voice 

When you are a Palestinian 

You would enjoy an extraordinary memory 

You’d remember the number of sand grains under the sea

 The voice of every muezzin 

The laughter of every child 

You’d remember the colour of dawn 

The flavour of sleep

 The scent of rain 

You’d also remember those black nights 

The voices of their monsters and their moves 

You would remember the smell of death mixed with gunfire 

You’d remember the wailing of widows

 And the moaning of little girls 

You’d remember your footsteps towards the oblivion 

Every tear, and over which soil granule it fell 

When you are a Palestinian 

You’d discover the value of numbers 

You’d fall in love with them 

Or hate them 

A strong bond will anchor you 

Since your name became a number 

Your history, a number 

Your home address, a number 

Your lost-family members, a number 

Those who died, who imprisoned, who were torn to pieces… numbers 

The days you squandered -or squandered by- in refugee camps… a number 

Your dreams and failed prophecies of the day of your return… a number

 You’d appreciate indeed the value of numbers 

You’d be filled with gratitude to those who invented numbers 

Otherwise your life would’ve been lifeless, and numberless 

When you are a Palestinian 

You’d live in chronic yearning to a past you never knew 

And to future you would never know

When you are a Palestinian 

Words of love would not matter to you 

Nor the stock market

 Nor festival celebrations here and there

 It would not matter to you if nights became endless 

Or if days disappeared forever

 It would not matter to you if the year is twelve months 

Or twelve watermelons 

It would not matter to you if people ascended to the moon 

Or if the moon descended to them 

It would not matter to you if a party loses the election and another wins 

It would not matter to you if a country is triumphant and another defeated 

All what matters to you is that PALESTINE WAS STOLEN

And IT MUST BE OBTAINED BACK 

When you are a Palestinian 

You would abruptly stop talking

 And leave the story unfinished 

The poem without an ending 

As most likely the ideas in your head would become overcrowded 

So much so that they’d run over each other 

And you’d have to stop writing or talking immediately 

To attend the funeral of those thoughts which have been squashed 

And died before even being born 

Therefore
I will cut short my speech 

Leave to give my condolences in exile

 Where thoughts pass away 

Because they refuse to survive 

Without a HOMELAND

About ten years ago...

Dear Wafa,

When I was about ten years old and considered marriages as occasions to dress up beautifully, I had this (silly?) wish: we would marry brothers so that we will become sisters and can stay connected throughout our lives. You would marry the elder one, of course, because you are two months older than me. Everyone would like you a little more than me because you were more sweet-tempered than I was, and because I like it when people love you very much. I had an even better idea, that we would marry twin brothers, so that there wouldn't be an issue of who has to marry the elder one. It may sound stupid to you and now that I look back on it, it sounds childish and stupidly sweet to me. How I wish you were still with me!

So, what's my point? I'm missing you. A lot more than ever before. And so is your mom. We love you.

Always praying for you,

Your old friend.

The "god" particle: how apt a name!

Are you one of those people tormented by the "evidences" science put forth to establish that there is no entity called god and that it is all nonsense promoted by religion to exert control over human beings? Or those who believe in God very much but plagued by the doubt: why does God let these people carry on so? Well, here's why.

Remember, it was Charles Darwin's Theory of Evolution that science put up as their primary and central argument against the existence of God. But what they do not realise is that Darwin's theory only refutes the story of creation and not the Creator (this is not to suggest that the story of creation is false; I only meant that Darwin says so). According to this theory man was not created by God but rather, evolved from apes. That raises the question, so who created apes? Well, they evolved from something else which evolved from something else and so on, till we arrive at the unicellular organism with which science claims that life began on earth. Supposing this was true, only supposing, then who created this unicellular organism? Oh, it wasn't created at all, it was formed as a result of some biochemical reactions of water. But then who created water?  Water is a combination of two elements and was formed from some reaction or other that took place on the surface of the Earth or in the atmosphere or inside the Earth, blah blah blah. Even if this was true (obviously, it isn't), who created the Earth? Well, that's a good question because there is a ready-made answer for it: The Earth and in fact the entire universe was formed due to an explosion or more correctly, an expansion, termed the Big Bang. The universe was once a hot, dense substance which underwent rapid expansion and then cooling down, formed galaxies and stars and planets and satellites. Thank you, that serves my purpose. Who created this hot, dense mass? There has to be someone who created it, if you use logic. And so, what makes it so difficult to accept that someone as God?

But you are forgetting the most recent developments that confirmed an early theory and detected what may  be the Higgs boson or Higgs particle or what is commonly known as the "god" particle (the very name! but I'll come to that in a moment). A prominent scientist suggested it, another wrote a book on it and two teams at CERN separately confirmed the discovery of a hitherto unknown particle that very well could be the Higgs particle (they are not yet sure), and the whole world and its atheists celebrated it. Alright, but did this particle take form suddenly, on its own? Or did it require the hard work of the most brilliant scientists alive, with a number of technical settings and conditions at the Large Hadron Collider, such conditions that had any one of them been messed with, the particle would not have been discovered? Yes, it did. The discovery was the result of an experiment that was overseen at every point of time by some scientist or the other, probably a team of scientists. Now let me ask you something: if it took a number of scientists (who may possibly be the most intelligent men alive) to conduct experiments that resulted in the discovery of the "god" particle (discovery, not creation), if it took so much men to discover it, wouldn't it take a far greater force to create the universe which is far greater and more mysterious than the "god" particle? If it took a man (or many men) to provide the circumstances essential for this particle's discovery, wouldn't it take a God to make the necessary arrangements for the creation of the universe? There you are. So thank you scientists and thank you atheists, thank you very much for your valuable discussions on it. Thank you for proving your opponents' point.

You know what, I think the name "god" particle is apt after all, for it is the best scientific explanation (such is the world we live in, we require scientific explanations for everything) for the existence of God.

There is an even simpler explanation for those who will take it. We know that water comprises of two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom. Yet has man created a drop of water using this formula? No, because such an experiment, if successful, will also release a lot of energy that is highly destructive. But water found in nature is hardly formed with explosions. Isn't this a lesson that it takes not just substances to create life but a Creator?

Post disaster thoughts

Wondering what disaster? A gas tanker exploded on 27 August 2012 at a place called Chala, which is close home. We are all fine here, alhamdulillah but 19 people have died from 60-90% burns and many more are injured. The place looks as if it has been ground to a war-in the midst of greenery, an area stands out all brown and burnt, with its trees dead, houses and shops burnt beyond repair and people waiting for news of their dear ones. It is a pitiable sight and reminds one of death and its inevitability. The people of the locality are actively participating in the rehabilitation of the survivors and in ensuring the proper burial of bodies because death had taken whole families here. Even people from far-off have come to offer help, which is great, but most unfortunately, there are people who try to rob even the burnt houses, yes, there are such people in the world! Some have been seen searching among the soot in the burnt cupboards for anything valuable that has been spared by the fire. Where has humanity run off to?

To return to that hand that does not spare anyone, that certainty called death- had any of the victims thought of death before going to bed that night? They were all common people, like you and I. They were just going to bed (it was about 11 pm) or watching television or talking to each other or cleaning the kitchen or doing things that they normally do. Many of them might have had plans for the next day; we all plan ahead, normally. Not even the last thing on their minds would be explosion, fire and death. We do not think, and cannot imagine, each night when we go to sleep that we may not rise to see another dawn. We are all afraid of death, naturally. Only the most pious ones, confident of their Lord's satisfaction, can welcome death with a smile. They will be told on the Day of Judgement, "O (you) the one in (complete) rest and satisfaction! Come back to your Lord, Well-pleased (yourself) and well-pleasing unto Him! Enter you, then, among My honoured slaves, and enter My Paradise!" (Al-Fajr: 27-30)

One of the victims of the disaster is a twenty-year-old guy who died along with his parents and younger brother. Even minutes before his death, he was consoling other patients who were seriously injured (like he was) saying that life on this earth is not permanent, the eternal life comes after death.  It brought tears to the doctor's eyes, this young man about to die consoling those around him. He was fortunate (and virtuous) enough to be able to say the shehadah before death. Will we be able to do the same?

We are so busy living that we forget that basic, universal truth called death. We know that everyone born will die someday. We know that we cannot live here forever. We know, yet we like to ignore the fact, we tend to forget it. We place so much importance on our body and our physical activities, forgetting that our bodies are not going to last. This body to which we attribute so much of value will decay after death. It is temporary, as life on this earth is temporary. We shall all return to our Creator one day. It could be tomorrow, tonight, or the next minute. Nobody knows but Allah.