I feel so lonely, so terribly sad... I don't know if there is any particular reason (or many 'particular reasons') behind it, I only know that there is this great sorrow, gnawing my insides and threatening my sanity. I wish I could be anywhere but inside my mind, my being. I wish I were someone else. Calling to my aid the beloved poet, I can voice my feelings of insecurity, my confusions, my fears and tears, thus:
" If I were a dead leaf thou mightest bear;
If I were a swift cloud to fly with thee; ",
and even go on to cry out aloud:
"O! lift me as a wave, a leaf, a cloud!
I fall upon the thorns of life! I bleed!".
But where we differ, he and I, is in that I am not brave enough to hope as he did that if Winter comes then Spring will definitely follow it. My sorrow, I'm afraid, does not hold promises of future joy- for it is the future that brought this sorrow in the first place. I'm helpless in the face of it, a little girl all alone in the a midst of a vast sea of sorrow and (seemingly) endless misery.
" If I were a dead leaf thou mightest bear;
If I were a swift cloud to fly with thee; ",
and even go on to cry out aloud:
"O! lift me as a wave, a leaf, a cloud!
I fall upon the thorns of life! I bleed!".
But where we differ, he and I, is in that I am not brave enough to hope as he did that if Winter comes then Spring will definitely follow it. My sorrow, I'm afraid, does not hold promises of future joy- for it is the future that brought this sorrow in the first place. I'm helpless in the face of it, a little girl all alone in the a midst of a vast sea of sorrow and (seemingly) endless misery.
